Where's that voice from?

As a vehement opposer of monotony, I'm not going to delve too deeply into the prelude to my experience. All I can say is that it came as an epiphany, akin to a lightning bolt through my consciousness, touching my life and changing it forever. I remember being deeply upset at not finding my life's purpose. I sat down one day, tried to indulge in some soul-searching and asked myself, 'How do I make this work? How do I make life work for me? How do I be truly abundant in every aspect of my life?' Suddenly, I heard a voice. Actually it wasn't even a voice. The only way I can describe it is as an 'audible thought' that emanated from within me. ‘Love’, ‘Love’, ‘Love’, ‘Love’…the same word just kept repeating itself within me, like a broken record. I attempted to ask, ‘Yeah, okay. What about love?’ The word however just kept resonating within my mind, and slowly began to fade out. While I thought my crazy moment had passed, I heard another soft, mellow voice that said ‘take notes’. As I hurriedly searched for a pen and paper in my bedside drawer, the voice said ‘Aren’t you in the technological era? Your MacBook’s right here, and you’re going all old-school on me?’ Almost mechanically, following orders like a North Korean general, I switched my laptop on and fired up a blank word document. As I did this, I began to think, ‘What if I’m making this all up?’ The voice replied instantaneously, ‘Of course you are. But you’re making up some really cool stuff so bear with me’.

Suddenly, a torrent of words, quickly culminating into short sentences, seemed to begin ringing in my head. They went “love is all there is. Love is all you need. Love everyone. Love anyone. Love your past. Love your present. Love your future. Love your health. Love your body. Love your personality. Love your mood-swings. Love your enemies. Love your madness. Love every part of you.”

I was reading many self-help books at the time, so when this was happening to me, I thought I’d clearly gone cuckoo. And just as I finished thinking that thought, another one came charging in, ‘Yes, you have. For if you want to truly experience life, you have to be out of your mind. I’m going to tell you how to change your life. Forget what you’ve read, heard, learnt all these years. Law of attraction, positive thinking, visualization techniques – all that is great but has no lasting results, ultimately leaving you disillusioned. Life is more than material wealth. We’re going to unlock the wisdom within you. There’s only one way of truly changing your life and attaining enlightenment and that is to walk the path of love. You need nothing else but this. It is literally a panacea for all ills – and when you feel it doesn’t work, all you need to do is increase the dose. I couldn’t help but ask ‘Haven’t masters, authors, religious texts already explored the concept of love. What’s new here?’ The voice replied, ‘Yes, they have, but many have chosen a style that is too difficult to understand, and hence these ideas don’t really get absorbed in your consciousness; they simply get washed away at the surface. Moreover, there’s too much unnecessary delving into the functions of the ego and mind. The ego and mind are there for a reason, and you don’t need to conquer any of them. Nothing is achieved by conquering. Force has never resolved issues, and your world is a testimony to this. All you need to do is love. And everything else falls into place naturally. We’re about to have a little conversation, and be prepared. This conversation will change your life.

I don’t know where to begin. Uh okay, here goes nothing. Who are you?

Like seriously? Is that your first question? Well anyway, I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not.

It’s logical, isn’t it? If someone shows up at your door at an odd hour and says he’s a part of you, the first thing you ask is who are you? I’m unimpressed by your answer. It lacks clarity. Oh, and why are you talking like this? Like…

Like you? Like your generation? Who else do you want me to talk like? You want me to use cryptic language that no one understands? The greatest truths have been unnecessarily embedded in painfully serious language. Life is simple. Do you want me to talk like a mega intellectual philosopher?

No, but a slightly more mature approach would definitely help me in believing that this isn’t me going crazy. How can I take you seriously when you talk like me?

If you’re going to take me seriously, I better vamoose. That serious stuff really bores me.

Honestly - you get bored? Oh please don’t tell me you’re some higher power. I’m going to stir up a controversy if anyone reads what I’m writing.

Of course I get bored. I'm inside you and feel everything you do. But I do tell you this: I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not. Oh, and you can’t escape that controversy thingy. People will read what you have to say. You’ll be one of those cool authors after this book.

What book? Did you just use the word ‘thingy’? And I have no plans of being an author. I’m just here cause this audible thought isn’t getting out of my head. I’m totally going to lose it now.

So lose it. That’s the only way you’ll understand any of this anyway. By losing it.

You need to define yourself for me. I feel like I’m talking to myself.

That's accurate. You are talking to yourself. We’re one – you and me. And you want a definition? I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not.

Are you just an alter ego who’s reinforcing the loony part of me?

I don’t know. You figure it out. Like I said, I am who you think I am….’

Okay okay, stop with that standard response. I couldn’t be bothered about who you are anymore. I’d rather know why you’re here.

Thank you. I couldn’t be bothered about you asking me either. Let’s move on to why I’m here.

Okay, why are you here?

To sort your life out silly. In a language that’s uber-cool and understood by one and all.

Can I ask you anything? Like really crazy stuff?

I’d be the happiest if you only ask the crazy stuff! Shoot away, dude.

Why am I here? What’s the purpose of my life?

Oh man. Is that what you meant by crazy stuff? This is the standard question plaguing the whole of humanity. – double yawn! You bore me.

You’re dissing me! How can I possibly take you seriously? I really think this is just a random voice. Anyone holy wouldn’t make fun of me!

You shouldn’t take me seriously. In fact, you shouldn’t take anything seriously. Just chill. You know this is what your problem in life is.

I don’t have any real problems. Not until you showed up anyway. What are you talking bout?

I’m talking about what just happened. I made a little joke and you got offended. Why do you let anyone offend you? Why give them that kind of power?

Well, of course it's offensive when someone thinks little of you. Everyone wants respect, don’t they?

Okay, but if someone doesn’t respect you, how does it deplete your own self-worth?

Well, I feel I don’t measure up to expectations.

Whose expectations?

You know, people.

And why should someone else’s expectations bother you?

Uh…it just does.

‘It just does’. And you say I lack clarity?

Quit being a wise guy. What’s your point?

My point is that you place too much importance on people. THEIR preferences, THEIR opinions. When all you should be doing is focusing on yourself.

I do focus on myself. It’s just that these people get in the way.

You allow them to get in your way. You don’t need to.

How do I stop them?

By loving them.

Whaaaa?

You heard me. Love them. If someone offends you, love them. Insults you, love them. Teases you, love them, attacks you, love them.

Isn’t that a wussy thing to do? Come on.  

Your definitions of weakness and strength are all messed up.

I still can’t come to terms with this conversation. What if I’m making this all up?

What difference does it make? You’re not spreading hate propaganda or plotting world domination!

It’s too late in the night. I don’t want to chat further. I have to sleep over this to make sure that I’m not crazy.

Cool, good night.

Great. So is this conversation over?

Oh my sweetheart. It’s just begun. You’ll do this everyday or every other day or take long breaks between conversations, till you don’t want to anymore.

How do you know what I want or don’t want? Who are you to decide that?

I’m everything you think….

God, not that cryptic response again. I’m off to bed.

Great. I’ll wait for you at the same place, same time. Actually make that any place any time.

Okay whatever. This is crazy.

              Go already.

It’s odd how well I managed to sleep that night. I really should have been rather freaked out by what I just experienced, but instead there was this strange sense of calmness that just washed over me. I felt I was being guided towards something – but at the same time a part of me was mocking this feeling. Everyone wants to feel special, don’t they? I too did. But I began to question everything I had ever read or learnt about spirituality, life, its purpose, channeling and the like. Much later did I realise that only when we begin to question each and every one of our beliefs, and hold them up to intense scrutiny, do we make any real progress in life. I began to continue writing (but only when I really felt like), and the voice – or audible thought as I liked to call it – would show up every time.